I've moved from this blog. See my e-mail for my new blog or e-mail me about it.
Thanks for being here.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
NY or Vancouver or Boston
If it'd be the moon that I'm traveling to, I'd go gladly on account that my heart's set on going.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Happy :D
I wasn't very well for the last couple weeks (probably a month now?) but now I'm quite over it. It's about being happy despite so many bad things up in my face all the time. I know this is a very low point in my life and there's been many days where I've just felt my heart was paralyzed, or some days were just a blur because I just couldn't take it, but damn it, I get it now!!
The sweetest thing was having my parents write me letters (they took turns haha) and left it on my desk. I don't think I could have quite gotten through this tough time as well if my family wasn't here supporting me and taking care of me.
I get all of it now - loved and lost, letting go, and to be happy on my own. I'm not bitter about it anymore or sad or angry, I'm just happy that I'm happy.
As soon as exams are done, I am going to schedule myself for a holiday with my siblings (either to the West coast or the south). And I'm going to shop for a car. And dancing classes, then legal courses. I'm just contemplating if I should move out of Toronto and either move to the US - New York/Vancouver (Calgary is a possibility but it doesn't seem like too much of a possibility anymore).
Now I have to clean up three years of stuff haha, which is a lot of work in itself. Always finding some thing here and there even when I thought all the cleaning up is done.
The sweetest thing was having my parents write me letters (they took turns haha) and left it on my desk. I don't think I could have quite gotten through this tough time as well if my family wasn't here supporting me and taking care of me.
I get all of it now - loved and lost, letting go, and to be happy on my own. I'm not bitter about it anymore or sad or angry, I'm just happy that I'm happy.
As soon as exams are done, I am going to schedule myself for a holiday with my siblings (either to the West coast or the south). And I'm going to shop for a car. And dancing classes, then legal courses. I'm just contemplating if I should move out of Toronto and either move to the US - New York/Vancouver (Calgary is a possibility but it doesn't seem like too much of a possibility anymore).
Now I have to clean up three years of stuff haha, which is a lot of work in itself. Always finding some thing here and there even when I thought all the cleaning up is done.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Living and Learning
I learned that my heart can take me to the most wonderful places, but another person's heart can't really mean well for me. When I have the heart, another person's deceit can quickly try and take that over. I have become even more protective of myself after everything I have been through. It was a lesson that got harder and harder to learn, but hey, I learned it.
In my case, I have given my best shot at everything in life, I lived for the moment yet I planned what I could control and could not control, I treated everyone the way they treated me, for my whole life. It was always a motto that I abided by early on. I do regret on some bad choices though but I'll take note never to make those mistakes ever again. You reap what you sow. I just can't wait for karma haha.
I have an unbelievably strong spirit that is guiding me throughout all this. That strong spirit took years of making and believing.
On a completely different note, the snow fall today was really romantic. I just wanted to stand there and let it all fall on me. I really do enjoy rain or snow on days like this. I suppose it makes me feel like I too, can shed away my burdens and just let myself soar. Ha, the weirdest thing was seeing my ex who happened to be on the same bus. Thank goodness he sat in the back and I sat in the front. Saw an old friend too though on the same bus. (Yes, I know, me and my bus adventures haha)
In my case, I have given my best shot at everything in life, I lived for the moment yet I planned what I could control and could not control, I treated everyone the way they treated me, for my whole life. It was always a motto that I abided by early on. I do regret on some bad choices though but I'll take note never to make those mistakes ever again. You reap what you sow. I just can't wait for karma haha.
I have an unbelievably strong spirit that is guiding me throughout all this. That strong spirit took years of making and believing.
On a completely different note, the snow fall today was really romantic. I just wanted to stand there and let it all fall on me. I really do enjoy rain or snow on days like this. I suppose it makes me feel like I too, can shed away my burdens and just let myself soar. Ha, the weirdest thing was seeing my ex who happened to be on the same bus. Thank goodness he sat in the back and I sat in the front. Saw an old friend too though on the same bus. (Yes, I know, me and my bus adventures haha)
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Shopping
In about two hours yesterday, I spent nearly $300 on 5 pants, and 3 boots, among other small accessories. Next will be glasses, contacts, shirts, digital camera and party clothes.
Considering the pants are way too long for me, I asked my parents to help me amend them. Yes, I don't know how to sew. In return for my parents' help, they lectured me on how I am not a proper girl just because I don't know how to sew nicely, or I'm not a traditional girl blah blah.
Like I told my parents before, I absolutely am not a normal girl, I don't think nor do I act like one. Fitting myself into the roles of cutesy-dumbass, or mute-submissive just isn't me. I am really strong-headed, I know what I want and what I don't want, when I see something unacceptable, I make sure I don't become like that etc. Yes, I don't know how to sew but why do most parents want their daughters to be so submissive, or the words my parents and many Chinese parents use, "Able to fit in the kitchen, able to fit in the living room".
And apparently me being very hyper and not being too upset is kind of disturbing some friends who have known me for way too long, and seen me overcome many other problems. Ha, I suppose I have a stronger spirit than I thought. Anyways, letting go makes me feel better because I feel like I'm not stopping anyone, especially myself, from many things in life. I am, however, going to miss the kids so much.
My birthday's coming up, and I'm thinking how I want to spend it. Probably want to go to a jam, like Rocellie suggested. I am going to have a glorious feat on my birthday, even though it's really just two weeks away haha. And again, my birthday falls on a weekday, what else is new? (Guess I'll be seeing you on my birthday, Fareeda, since I'm working that day haha)
Considering the pants are way too long for me, I asked my parents to help me amend them. Yes, I don't know how to sew. In return for my parents' help, they lectured me on how I am not a proper girl just because I don't know how to sew nicely, or I'm not a traditional girl blah blah.
Like I told my parents before, I absolutely am not a normal girl, I don't think nor do I act like one. Fitting myself into the roles of cutesy-dumbass, or mute-submissive just isn't me. I am really strong-headed, I know what I want and what I don't want, when I see something unacceptable, I make sure I don't become like that etc. Yes, I don't know how to sew but why do most parents want their daughters to be so submissive, or the words my parents and many Chinese parents use, "Able to fit in the kitchen, able to fit in the living room".
And apparently me being very hyper and not being too upset is kind of disturbing some friends who have known me for way too long, and seen me overcome many other problems. Ha, I suppose I have a stronger spirit than I thought. Anyways, letting go makes me feel better because I feel like I'm not stopping anyone, especially myself, from many things in life. I am, however, going to miss the kids so much.
My birthday's coming up, and I'm thinking how I want to spend it. Probably want to go to a jam, like Rocellie suggested. I am going to have a glorious feat on my birthday, even though it's really just two weeks away haha. And again, my birthday falls on a weekday, what else is new? (Guess I'll be seeing you on my birthday, Fareeda, since I'm working that day haha)
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