Nostalgia

I do not know how these friends of mine do it. They pack up their 10 odd years of life here and move to another country to pursue a life there. It really takes a lot of courage. I suppose I could do it if I broke up with the boyfriend, did not care much about my family or my friends. For the longest time, I've really wanted to go to China and pursue a career there. My family and Lee are very supportive of my idea but I just do not know how to pack up and leave the 11 years of memory here. When I left Pakistan, it was relatively easier because I was younger and it was almost exciting to get out of the country. Now, it would be so much harder. I'd survive without a doubt but I would miss it here.

I never understood how my parents left China to go to Pakistan and then here to Canada. Now I can kind of relate. I'm 23 now but when my parents left China, my mom was 20 and my dad was 28. They are really very brave.

I can understand Alan and Joanne leaving here since their family resides there. Naturally, they would want to be closer with their family. But Lau? Her family is here. I'm sure she has job opportunities here but she's moving all the way to the East. I think what bothers me more is Lau leaving so suddenly. The news really came to me about three weeks ago and now her leaving in a couple days is even more sudden.

Really makes you think, don't it? How our life has accelerated in the blink of an eye and how much change we've endured. These group of people I've known for the longest time really challenged me and gave me the meaning to a lot of things. There were friendships that could not stand through some tests of life, there were some friendships that weathered through every storm, there were friends who were not necessarily very close but were very stable figures in my life and there were some friendships who held my hand as I had my own storms to overcome.

With all this nostalgic feelings bundled up, suddenly I feel like letting her know that despite the hurtful words exchanged to describe the situation, I did not give up. I was always hoping and still am. I wished I could say all I needed to say without being interpreted the wrong way. I'm tired of having bad dreams about it, or thinking about it everyday. But maybe time will do its bid. Maybe.

Feasibility

There was a line in the movie, The last kiss, that really stuck out to me: "You can say you love somebody all you want, but it's what you do that matters."

Note: The quote was generally along those lines, not the exact wording in the movie. Feel free to correct me, those who have seen it.

You don't give up if you treasure something. You give up because there are no other options that are viable for you. Or the other party makes it extremely hard. So you create a path for yourself and hope to walk away gracefully. Even if it means giving up everything.