Smart Answers

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did. Thanks Fareeda!

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!

My devotion until the goodbyes

I love food. But I especially love food even more during exams or midterms. So today while I was at home, I was eating while studying. Noodles, fried rice and Asian pears during the day or while Lee was at work. On his way home, I had him fetch junk goodies for me. Among the fruit cereals, chocolates and fruit cake, I got him to buy me a bag of skittles, much to his objection of course.

I opened my bag of skittles and popped a few of the green ones and realized, I really don't like skittles as much as I used to. It really is just sugar candies with some artificial fruit flavors on top. How in the world did I used to love eating these candies that "taste like rainbow" for so many years of my life? I really wonder sometimes. But like all things, I move on as I step on to the different stages of life. And skittles just happened to be one of them.

Oh skittles, I was so loyal to your original side for so many years but when the sour side of you came out, I thought I'd try and accept it but it still wasn't as original as you were. I then parted with you for awhile, thinking I have to be on my own and not love you as much. But now, when I came back to be with you, I realized my feelings towards you had changed. It really was good for awhile, wasn't it, being with you? I suppose now is really a good time to say goodbye even though you were my first true candy-love. Goodbye, my love.